


Gender Studies

by Mraowface



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: (She's not very nuanced), Crowley spreads mayhem, Fluff and Humor, God hates gender, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-27 02:08:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21384343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mraowface/pseuds/Mraowface
Summary: Crowley shows off some of his extra-demonic activity.  Aziraphale is duly impressed for the wrong reasons.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 59





	Gender Studies

Aziraphale eyed Crowley up suspiciously. The demon was on his laptop, snickering quietly at a video he was rewatching for the seventh time.

“Alright, what awful thing are you laughing at this time?”

Crowley paused the video. “Just visiting past seeds of discord... Here, I'll show you, this is great.”

“Do I really want to see this?” said Aziraphale, while still moving round to get a view of the screen anyway.

“Absolutely, you'll love it.” He clicked back to the start of the video. “This is what they call a 'gender reveal' party...”

“And what's that when it's at home?”

“Some awful idea the humans came up with. You get a bunch of people together, set off some fireworks or cut open a cake or something, and if it's blue it's a boy, and pink it's a girl. Stop looking at me like that, it wasn't my idea!”1

“And why is that woman crying?” He pointed at the screen, where two unhappy parents were looking horrified at a crowd of rainbow coloured balloons.

“Because she's just found out her child is going to be genderqueer!” Crowley looked triumphant.

“Really?”

“Well, who knows. It's up to the kid really. But just look at their faces!” He paused gleefully on a shot of both parents looking traumatised.

Aziraphale still looked confused. “So... you're making parents think more about imposing a binary gender on children at a young age?”

“Yep! Before they've been born even.”

Crowley was startled as Aziraphale suddenly bent round to kiss him.

“I think that's beautiful, darling.”

“Huh? No, I'm being evil! Look at their faces!”

Aziraphale grinned and shook his head. “Show me some more.”

The demon clicked on another tab. “So this is our facebook group...”

“Our?”

“My operatives. A highly secret network of LGBTQ operatives...”

Aziraphale interrupted. “Oh look, there's Marie! And Ximena, and...”

Crowley scowled, and closed the tab. “There are some good news stories too. This one just happened – pair of idiots crashed a plane trying to dump a ton of pink water over Texas.”

“You crashed a plane?!”

“Nah, the humans did that. No involvement on my part. Same with this one,” he clicked on another of his favourites.2

“You really weren't involved in those ones?” Aziraphale looked unconvinced.

“Nope. I just do the glitter and balloons. I've done a lot for the queer party supply industry over the years.3 These ones weren't me though, must just have been acts of God.”

“You know what this means?”

Crowley shook his head.

“You're doing God's work! She must hate gender reveal parties even more than you!”

Crowley now spluttered. “I am _not_ doing God's work. She and I have not been on speaking terms for a number of years, _as you very well know.”_

It was clear that the angel was not going to give this one up. “You said it yourself, those were acts of God! And therefore it follows...”

“_And therefore it follows_ that you should shut your damned angel mouth, because I'm a being of demonic mayhem.” Crowley's eyes glowed menacingly.

“Absolutely, dearest. You're very terrifying, and I'm very proud. Do say hello to your secret network for me, and tell Ximena I'll see her at book group.”

Crowley scowled, shut the laptop, and mooched off to be demonic by himself for a while. Angels could be insufferable sometimes...

1It honestly wasn't.

2He didn't start that forest fire either.

3Even inventing extra small particles of rainbow glitter, that lingered tauntingly for months

**Author's Note:**

> Valvopus: I did not start those fires either...


End file.
